I remember this day like it was yesterday (seriously, I can’t believe it has been almost seven months, time flies!). I had finally settled into my flat after a very hectic week (I am an international student… I feel like that is enough of an explanation) and I could not wait to go to university the next day. Thoughts of making new friends made me forget how homesick I was. The following morning I jumped out of bed with excitement at the sound of my alarm. For some reason I felt so optimistic, I could not wipe the smile off my face.
When I got there, the room was not yet opened but students -who I guessed were my course-mates- were milling around the hallway in front of the door in groups chatting and laughing. I desperately wanted to join in, so I did. I walked up to a group of girls who were clearly in the middle of a conversation and awkwardly stood there listening to their conversation. Now before you think I am total creep, I initially intended to introduce myself like any normal person would. In my head I had the perfect plan, I would smile and say hello, maybe throw in a few jokes and they would laugh their heads off and we would all be bffs. Things didn’t happen exactly that way. I got there and I just froze. It was so weird, I could neither speak nor walk away. I just stood, rooted to the spot, nodding and laughing nervously at everything they said. They continued their conversation, trying to ignore my presence, occasionally shooting me confused looks and exchanging glances as if to say why the hell is this girls just standing here. ‘Hi, my name is…’ I was saying it fine in my head but my voice failed me. My heart was pounding, palms sweating and tears pricked my eyes. It was such a horrible feeling. I am not sure how long I was standing there but it honestly felt like an eternity.
The lecturer finally arrived and let us in, I was so glad to get away from that group of girls (they probably thought I am an utter weirdo). I made sure to sit far away from them. I watched as people filed in and sat in groups, everyone seemed to know each other and I felt like such an outsider. So what if I completely humiliated myself I thought I bet someone great is going to sit next to me right now and they’ll… Before I could finish my thought, a group of three guys laughing sat next to me oh great. I tried my best not to listen to their conversation and have a repeat of my previous incident. The session was two hours long and I was on the verge of tears the entire time. I just wanted to get the hell out of there. You can be sure when it ended, I practically ran to my flat and cried like a baby. I already hated university, I just wanted to go back home where I had friends.
I really did not want to go back but I had another one hour session later that day. It took everything inside me to walk back out of that door. This time I walked up to a girl who was sitting on her own and to my surprise, I managed to smile and have a normal conversation. I discovered she was also an international student and we just clicked. We went to the Fresher’s fayre together and signed up to some really cool societies. One of the societies was having a meeting on the same day so I attended it. I met so many cool people there and got all their numbers. After the meeting, we went bowling then had pizza. It was so much fun that I completely forgot what happened earlier. 🙂
Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed my story! 🙂