Life is a challenge for everyone, but as an awkward person, I have a whole different set of issues I face every day. Now, not every awkward person is the same so if you finish reading this and you think “I’m awkward but I have never been through any of this”…. Then know that this is the first of the awkward things I go through on a regular basis. Telling people things I think everyone experiences only to discover that it’s not normal. I’ll give you an example; when I meet someone for the first time, they don’t necessarily strike me as drop dead gorgeous or anything but once I get to know them and we become friends, suddenly they become so beautiful. Basically the longer I know the person, the more beautiful they get. See, I thought this was normal for everybody but when I told my friends about it, they all thought I’m a total lunatic. That was not even the point of our conversation, I just mentioned it as a by the way, a we-all-go-through-that kind of thing but they had no clue what I was talking about. It was really awkward.
Another awkward thing is walking, yes you read that right, WALKING. I mean I’ve been walking for 20 years, it’s only the natural way for humans to get from one place to another. You’d think I’d have mastered how to walk by now! I don’t know what it is, when I’m in public, I just become so conscious of the way I walk. My thought process when I walk in public usually goes a little like this; Keep you’re back straight, okay not that straight, you don’t want to look like a robot. Look straight ahead, don’t look at anyone. Okay maybe that looks arrogant, make eye contact with everyone and maybe even smile. Well don’t smile like that! Oh my… too late that last person totally thought you are on crack or something. Fine no smiling, just focus on you’re legs. One leg at a time come on, right leg, left leg, right leg… Don’t fall, don’t fall! It goes on. Deciding where to put my arms when walking is the most difficult thing! Swing your arms that’s the normal thing to do. Okay, too much swinging, maybe keep them straight. Now you look so stiff!… I usually end up carrying a bag even when I don’t need one just so I can hold the straps and not have to deal with that.
Don’t even get me started on small talk! I’m pretty sure I’ve broken some sort of record on horrible small talk. I have a script that I use on literally everyone and it usually begins with talk of the weather, yeah, it’s that bad. The crazy thing is I am the one that usually initiates the conversation but I do it in a way that the other person isn’t left with much room for responding. We then fall into the most awkward silences. It’s like I never learn my lesson. I don’t know what’s wrong with me it’s almost like I crave the awkwardness. There’s this one time I went over to a friends house for dinner and five of her friends who I had never met were there. I was trying so hard to join the small talk but it’s almost like everything I said ended the conversation. Every time I opened my mouth, people fell into an awkward silence lol. My friend noticed and she took me to her room to hang out away from the rest of the girls, true story.
All I have mentioned so far is pretty awkward but this next thing is by far the most awkward thing ever! Whether to say hello when you see someone you know. I know what you’re thinking ‘what is wrong with this girl’. The thing is, if I get along really well with someone and I like them, it’s pretty straightforward, I say hi if I see them around. What about the people you don’t really know but you know? Say you see them around at school, you’ve worked together on a class assignment or you were introduced to them briefly by a friend recently. If you see this person in a mall or something, what is the right thing to do? Honestly I really struggle with this, because I’m thinking, hey, I know this person, I should go say hi but what if they don’t recognize me or they think I’m weird or something. Also another thing, do I have say hello every single time I see them? Is that the polite thing to do or is it a bit creepy? I usually end up avoiding eye contact and maybe even walking in the opposite direction because I have no idea what to do!
That’s all I can think of right now but feel free to add to my list if you know the struggle. If you read this far, you’re awesome. Thank you for reading! 🙂
Just as a side note I’m thinking of a unique way to end my blogs, any ideas are appreciated. 🙂